Cough Syrup.

Bitter.

With that same raw aftertaste.

Meant to make you stronger.

But only increases the symptom.

Gives you a sore throat on contact,

Leaving a lump.

Tried to block out the taste,

But it only got stronger.

Facing it,

Bracing it,

My eyes watered.

It makes me wish that I could live up to every expectation,

Every normality,

Every place where a person can belong.

To not even be me anymore.

Because clearly I need to get "better"

Too many spoonfulls it's hard to swallow.

I'd gulp down the whole bottle if it could change things.

My heart becomes heavy.

Heavy with raw pain.

Throbbing with the tears I refuse to shed.

Passing by the hours,

Still "Sick"

Wondering when or even if I'll get "better"

Yet again I swallow...

And swallow...

And swallow all of the words

That I yearn to say.

All of the pain that shouldn't have stayed.

Waiting for this cough syrup to come down...

One more spoon of cough syrup now....

Human dignity + compassion = peace.