If I could give my heart a
I know what it would think of you.
If I could give my soul vocal chords and a mouth,
I know what it would tell you.
After I was done, you would know who I was,
and you would know how I felt.
After I was done, You would know why I was the way that I was
and why I am the way I am now.
Or maybe you would be the way I fear.
You might not understand.
Because you had no idea of the roaring screaming fire that burns in my heart.
And you might not even care about the moot points that have plagued me for so long.
But in my mind,
I imagine that you will.
That I haven't gone crazy and everything is as it was.
I was born with all of these different meanings and events that
I wasn't there for and that are woven into me and have made a home in my veins.
It took one second that I wasn't here for my whole undeveloped world to crash like thunder.
It's a crash that reoccurrs within me.
It only happened visibly once...
And never stopped.
Like the resonance of hitting a gong.
The feeling of unease, and the small sound still being made by something so shattering.
Like shattering a numbness in me that I was never able to maintain.
There's always a reminder to tell me that there's no end.
There is only tolerance for what it does.
I interalize and breathe a little out because it's all I can do
without letting it all out at once.
If I could give my stomach a say,
I would be out the door before the butterflies could get directions.
If my legs had sensitive nerves,
they'd have run the other way before the thought floated in.
If my body was wise,
I would feel fine.
Human dignity + Compassion = Peace.