Sand as it moves

This is a time for reflection on things that at the moment, 

I cannot do. 

Not all of my limits are negative, 

in fact, none of them are.

Limits are merely another representation of the person I am right now.

This is not who I will be for the rest of my life.

I will not change, 

but become more of myself,

with a greater abundance of knowledge beneath my nose 

instead of angst. 

There's a myriad of things I still need to learn to do,

a million different ways to bend my mind that I need to practice. 

There are the clear ones.

I can't drive, though the thought still makes me queasy.

I "can't" drink,

though if we were being hypothetical and say I maybe did,

I could tell you that I didn't like it at all. 

I have trouble letting and keeping people in.

I love the people I push away and I can never seem to express it the way they want me to,

though I have the sinking feeling that that was never my fault to begin with.

There are times when I almost wish that it was,

because there would still be something there to fix,

or something there at all.

The truth is most bitter when you have to admit it,

but I need to accept the truth as it is now,

because yesterday's truth is dragging me back there where I no longer belong. 

I think there might always be a part of me that

truly does wish that she could live that day again.

In fact, she might want to live it so many times that she fixes the heart she's stuck with now.

But because today is not and never will be the love of yesterday's grasp,

I revert to avoiding your glass eyes,

and push down all that I once was into one of those convoluted sand bottles.

You know the ones.

They bend and loop around themselves.

One simple frature and they break in an instant,

but for the seconds that you actually look at them in a day they're swell.

In fact, you've never quite seen her this well-put together.

It would be easy for her to throw you off with the twists and turns of

all that does not exist within her anymore.

The pretty hues while you would never know of the inner blues.

But,

if there was ever a time that

you should follow the now necessary way about her,

to actually see if there was any salt water left in the cracks,

it would be now. 

Human Dignity + Compassion = Peace.