Pleasant inferno for a time.

There's a decent debate running amuck about my mind.

There's the one side that reminds me that putting myself first isn't selfish,

no matter how much it seems to be. 

The other side drilling my faith in others into the other side of my mind. 

They're both two completely adverse sides of the world and though I've made the decision,

the tennis rally persists. 

Pondering decesions that I've made without realizing they exist has 

made up the majority of my time. 

It's a migraine, but then something tells me that a rigid moral code isn't awful.

I can either have an increase in close loved ones, 

or I can just close myself off as usual.

People go on with their lives in near bliss,

while I seem to suffer to keep them there. 

To be honest, 

I'm a tad bit sick of it.

This is my time to stop caring about the apathetic,

and allow them to have the struggles they're meant to without my interference. 

I just need to know that I never mattered too much to them anyway 

and my absence is not something for me to mourn, 

but for perchance those who are meant to miss me to. 

There won't be many, 

I wouldn't expect that at all. 

But I think that there are a rare few who will look at me and get a bit sad,

because I will not permit myself to show that I care at all. 

None of it will matter in the scheming plot that time has layed out. 

The emotions of others are not my responsibility,

mine are.

The events that I've been forced to witness have hurt,

but I refuse to allow the participants to continue their actions. 

I need not explain my hasty exit, 

but it will appear as happy as I long to be afterward.

The door's right there, all I needed to do was take it, and now I finally will.

You took your door a long time ago and you checked out.

I'm sure you felt great after.

I'll take mine now and trust that it will be far better than yours. 

The bitterness that you decided to leave behind 

will be nothing compared to the content look I will force upon my face until it is genuine. 

Your control over my feelings hath gone on far too long. 

And starting from now, 

you will obliviate whether you'd like to or not. 

I left it to you to make that decision and I'm now choosing for you. 

Your existence means nothing to me. 

I am not the plan B when the plan A fire truck takes a dirty turn for the worst. 

I am the fire truck for my own disasters and you no longer count as one.

I will allow you to burn in your happiness

until you realize there's a fire and I allow the rain to fall at the same time. 

I hope that you truly enjoy the inferno, 

because I will never again be there to extinguish it. 

Human Dignity + Compassion = Peace.