Contrary to popular belief,
there are a myriad of broken things that can never be fixed.
This might not have been
the most popular way of thought amongst the majority of society,
but it was definitely something that had
floated through my mind for the better part of my life.
Now that the belief in that has completely crashed into the ground,
I'm a little bit perturbed as to where to go from here.
Similar to most new thoughts and conspiracies of human nature that pop into my head,
this wasn't planned.
But for some reason I haven't gotten to the usual stage in my thought process
where I determine that this is for the better.
My instincts are telling me not to leave this alone,
but everything surrounding me leads me in the other direction.
And being that human beings are
the most surprising creatures that I have had the privelge of encountering,
I can't seem to predict the outcome of any path that I could take.
I was given a voice so that I might use it to help others,
but I'm not quite sure if it's a wise idea to use it to help myself.
It was my knife, I know that it was, and I twisted it I know,
but I just don't think that I should leave it and walk away.
Taking it back and stopping the bleeding just seems like the best way for me to fix this.
I don't want to believe that there are things
that break and never glue themselves back together.
Beyond this one portion of mistakes that I will make in my life,
there will be an infinite number of extras.
They will weigh into my shoulders like a rigged anvil and they will hunch my back
so far to the point that I forget what posture is.
However, for this particular instance,
I think that I can pry them off for the briefest moment,
just to splatter out the apology that I've been hoarding in my pocket.
It will be the most crinkled, stained,
slip of remorse,
but I can only hope that it's almost enough.
And somehow, while I try to fix my past mistakes,
I'm making newer ones in the process.
I don't know if I canfix evereything,
but I still think that it's important that I try my best before shutting down.
But after that,
I think I might shut down for a while,
try not to make any big changes to my brain for a while.
Well, change happens constantly,
but I think that allowing life's natural course
to flow through my head is what's best for right now.
I feel pretty okay with just turning off all of the lights
and soaking up the absence of buzzing energy.
Human Dignity + Compassion = Peace.