Black and white.

An old movie became me. 

All of the things that I remember with such strong nostalgia 

leave their marks in me no matter where I turn.

The people that I fell for and never quite got back up from.

When I see the girl that I will never be,

but that I'd have killed to look like. 

The teachers that had done their jobs and wished that I could stay with.

The people that I always pushed away.

All of the many that sprinted away from me

while I caught my bearings of life. 

All of the many things that I thought that I could do

once I became who I thought I would be...

The scars that appear all over me that no one else seems to be able to see.

The invisible cloak that I put over myself

to mask any of the pain that I would never let anyone see. 

The passion for the most inconvenient of things.

Wishing I could be almost anyone else because

I couldn't stand to be in the same skin much longer. 

The strong fear of self and

not being the quiet, calm presence that I was always supposed to be,

or that I always had  to be.

All of the times where I wish that I could go back to 

whereever it was that I came from and I could be able to simply

look like someone else.

All of the many times where I was able to lie and tell the worls that I loved myself...

I's glad that they didn't know that I was wrong. 

The grips of cold that always glued to me because of the hollowed out shell

I got myself caught in. 

The times like now, where I wish that I could jump back into that black and white movie

and be able to tell myself to keep my mouth stitched up and to let no one in,

to always be locked behind the doors that I would soon put up.

To build them sooner and have sympathy for the missing, 

for soon I would be amongst them too.

Human Dignity + Compassion = Peace.