Entries from 2015-11-01 to 1 month

Deep down never seemed so close.

I wonder what I would be like if I could stop repressing all of the things that matter. As I'm open to some I feel it's too much that I share, and when I'm alone, I feel everything bubble up, and once I show a bit I end up revealing everyt…

Isolation is bliss.

I feel myself pushing everyone away. I didn't think too many people would notice. A disappointing thing is that I was right. My voice shrinks back, away from all of the chatter chasing after me, and into all of the things that I can't talk…

Self-administered tranquilizers.

Two breaths in, I don't feel either of them leave. The longer I go on, the shakier I get. To make the mind stationary is a control freak's lullaby. As much as I longed for control, knowing it was impossible, I continue trying to get my int…

Still.

When she was done with her carriage, there lie a pumpkin. But, for that one night, she could feel important and beautiful. It's a remarkable thing when the nicest things pass, and all that is left is the now. Sometimes, the past sems like …

Existential Identity crisis.

It's hard to draw yourself when you have no idea who you are. People go so long doing the same things, but there always comes a time where everything becomes a single motion. After doing that for so long, I have no idea where I stand anymo…

And it's a fine thing.

I wonder what it would be like to wake up as a nicer person. Kindness seeping out of every pore. A normalcy that was never meant to exist persisting in a strange fashion because I know that I've only looked like a kind person as an attempt…

Textbook diagnostics.

Sometimes, I think it'd be really useful, if I had a book that could tell me everything that I was. Society will always tell you that you're different, but that you're beautiful. If the outer quotations of society were correct, people woul…