And it's a fine thing.
I wonder what it would be like
to wake up as a nicer person.
Kindness seeping out of every pore.
A normalcy that was never meant to exist
persisting in a strange fashion because
I know that I've only looked like a kind person
as an attempt to hide everything like a thick curtain.
The point is moot, but I never cared too much.
Like carefully taking off a bangade is
far more painful than tearing it off,
it'd have been so much easier if you'd have found out for yourself.
I should have never let you in.
I was okay with being one thing amongst others.
Having people see me is a thing that I never dared experince before.
It is exactly how I feared.
My knowing of self is far better than anyone else
guessing at what lies behind my eyes.
The depth of any of my bullets was my business and mine alone because
I never needed the pity of anyone.
I never ask for help,
there's a reason.
If there is no knowledge of a problem,
no one will need to try to find a solution,
because I know that none exist.
My reserve is all that I have left.
Lashing out with any and all of the ice that I have left,
you no longer have me on your mind.
In mine,
I do not matter to you at all.
I will not say goodbye becase I never knew you.
And it's a fine thing to have never known me.
Human Dignity + Compassion = Peace.