Limits.
I don't remember when I passed mine.
I ached right through it.
I never told a soul.
It was just a silent whimper that no one strained to hear.
Everyone was so caught up in everything else.
I was never coddled or pondered over.
I didn't say it before
and though it may be too late,
I'm saying it now.
I can't do this anymore.
No, I will not watch this anymore with invisible tape over my mouth.
No, I will not hurt myself.
I've done this before and
I know where I will end.
Long ago,
I became a broken toy.
But after a while no one wants a broken toy.
When the toy is no longer played with,
it is at peace.
That is a limit and place that I will never reach.
For I am at the point and place where I have not broken down completely,
but I see that the breaking point is so close and
out of my reach.
I feel as though I will never be free.
I'm not too sure if I wish to be freed.
But I know that if I was,
I wouldn't feel like this.
Like I'm disgusted with myself.
As though so many things are my fault when I've
done no wrong.
To myself, maybe.
But I don't know how to fix it.
Man didn't make bandages big enough to cover the gap between me and you.
All there is is pain.
But I know that you don't see it.
Which is why I have to get rid of it for myself.
There's no sense in blaming anyone when
the knife has already dug through.
I can take it out,
but I would only bleed more.
At this point I would do it.
I have nothing left to give or lose.
Perfect time to break isn't it?
Yet I have no choice but to trudge onward.
I will, for now, be a toy that
looks fine,
but doesn't function as well as it did when you took me out of my box.
Human Dignity + Compassion = Peace.