What we leave behind for others

I'm painstakingly on my way to accepting the reality of vast changes.

They say that sadness is the hardest part of living,

but I really beg to differ.

There's an ease to sadness, as it holds one under.

While one slips into a something a bit more comfortable, like a coma of thier own ache,

it becomes a lot easier to stay there. 

And climbing my way back up has surely been no bed of roses,

but I have a lot more to live for. 

Well, it's really the same things I had been living for before, 

but change is a great clarifyer for the eyes and soul.

I now choose to not live for others, but for myself as I should. 

I'm learning new, fresh things everyday.

There are so many things that I still want to do.

And at sixteen, all of my goals are doable, if I don't get too far in my own way.

This is the time that I need to cherish and make count for the rest of my life.

I haven't gotten this far to let something as insignifigant as my first heartbreak 

stop me from mending the rest of myself.

I will hurt so much in my life that the whole thing will be a massive recovery process, 

so I need to learn to multi-task.

I am aware of my own limitations and the fact that change is arduous to understand,

but it is how I will continue to thrive.

I am allotted one life.

My life is my message to the world.

I am not looking to scream (though sometimes I wish I could),

or spray-paint it onto a billboard,

but I long for it to flow as a whisper amongst the wind. 

For the wind will never cease motion.

Pollution may block its path every while and again, 

but someone else will breathe in the bit that's left and know that this is not their end.

And if it were, may they go in peace, with faith that they meant something.

Everyone was destined to do something in this hideously beautiful world,

and everyone has the mind to know what it is they want.

What we learn is what we leave behind. 

Keeping unnecessary ache constantly will only plague one further.

I no longer need to be bedridden in my madness.

This influenza of thoughts has gone on long enough.

Spring will arrive soon enough, but until then,

I must accept that my warmth will not come easily,

but at some point the tension in my bones will ease

and my breath leisurely coming and going,

because someone else left theirs for me long ago.

Human Dignity + Compassion = Peace.