Youthful wishing.

There's a fear that's come about,

if you can call it that.

Or perhaps one could name it a sensation. 

Using either title, 

the sensation of future will dawn overhead as the grandest eclipse, 

it all fades out eventually, 

but the journey there just seems to trepidacious. 
This is, after all, the preparation for the rest of forever,

and that word init of itself is so massive and ominous.

Forever and it's iminent permanence scrawled into my skull

like an instruction manual of when to finally shut down.

And the mere knowledge of the fact that one day, 

I or even someone else will push that preciously cute red button 

and nothing I do will ever matter again.

I will be of the utmost irrelvance. 

That ballroom gown that Serefine wore will only be but so beautiful 

as it burrows into the back of your mind 

and you manage the rest of your life.

The memories will never matter because the past is going to stay back there and rot.

The pets that took indefinite residence in your backyard will stay there

as will their little lives.

I watch the youth of others end and I mourn it for them as they seem so content

with the impending end of something beautiful that will never exist again. 

As much as I wish them joy,

and in turn wish it from myself,

I have yet to know such a bitterness that is the goodbye to 

not a person exactly,

but to something that you watched from the start,

and watch to the end. 

They didn't see it,

they felt it.

It might not have been the red button,

but maybe a blue.

The button meant to teach them that this is the end of the awkward grace.

There will be no more of the locker rooms,

and there will be no more strange first kisses to be savored. 

I hope that at some point they'll be able to cherish the small portion of 

everything in their lives before they take thier fingers off that button and make this oh so final.

They start from here,

and it is a brilliant start to something great in their existences, 

but I have no choice but to see it as an end at the moment.

I can hope that they will be safe and sane in a world that is such the opposite.

I don't know how far one little bit of will can go,

or if it will ever even reach them,

but maybe it doesn't need to.

I no longer wish to keep such a thing to myself,

but I'd love for it to be passed into the atmosphere and be accepted with warm, open arms.

No hostility flickering the flame of one independent candle resembling a goodbye.

They may not need the closure, but I wouldn't mind just lighting a candle with that in mind.

The wind will blow it out,

a gust as warm as the wish itself.

And as much as I wish it were time for me to stop wishing

for all of the life that I will simply never live, 

it is not the time for those wishes to even come to fruition.

Youth is for the dreamers,

and so I do dream.

Perhaps it is but a time to change the subject matter.

Eventually, from those dreams I will awake,

as I will at some point from this one. 

Human Dignity + Compassion = Peace.