Flashing vacancy sign

As well as the life that I wish you, 

I love the feeling of not starving for you every day. 

For without your salt water in my eyes,

things became abundantly clear. 

I don't feel the need to be anything other than myself.

The loose jeans and my inexperienced lips just right,

and I've become content with the fact that you are territory 

that I no longer have the desire to chart. 

The plundering of my pulse will stop,

or grow another reason,

and you will leave as you always do,

and I will keep my stopwatch calculating how many seconds I can hold a smile,

instead of the ones I spend holding back frowns. 

You aren't here with me, 

so yoiu no longer take up space in my books.

I have so much left to do, and I have become cool with the uncouth of it all.

If I were ever meant to be with you in any way, even in this great distance, 

I wouldn't have been so ready and willing to give you both of my hands

to swat away any descrepancies from your eyes, my fault or not. 

I could never have been with someone who could be so emotionless

as I felt everything so immensely. 

There is no way for you to reach omnipresence in my life if I no longer allow you to. 

It is now that you are gone that

I can close my eyes and not have your waving to me behind them.

I suppose this is what most people would call "Giving up the ghost". 

I've truly never had a more horation departure in my life. 

Having you leave months ago, and to only feel and hear your car start up to go now. 

Byfar the most miraculous delayed reaction to have taken place. 

You were a comfortable tee-shirt that I'd sleep in, 

but I should have drawn more from the tears in the sleeves, 

or the creases that never came out. 

Wearing you was fine, putting you in drawers were awful,

but I'd have never known that it was because you never belonged in them. 

I could have sworn that I saw you in a store window just the other day, 

I think they were promoting what the youth would call the "grunge aesthetic",

you asked me how I was and I walked away. 

This time it felt right and just to leave, no longer screaming as I usually would. 

But I'm pretty sure that you never noticed this time, 

there were people to replace me by the time I got far enough away for you to look vacant.

And although you've left me feeling like a guest in my own body, 

it's a place that I'm glad to rent, more than glad to pick up your slack.

The place has been looking a bit sparce, and the lights don't really 

sparkle the way that they did when you were here to fix them,

but she developed the atmosphere that you won't ever have the honor to imagine

in your dizziest daydreams.

Before you she could have been the whole damn hotel

with no vacancy and standing room only. 

But for now, she's a stark room, where the same two people share coffee every week,

and walk off to the crunch of cold and crisp autumn leaves.

Human Dignity + Compassion = Peace.