Bones of memories.

The mind,

in a way,

Is like a cell.

It has positive 

and negative charges.

Memories always have a charge or price.

But like charges in a cell,

There is always more negative 

than positive.

But as you look closer, 

there are a bunch of gaps and openings.

That remain unsolved.

Negative memories bring more pain than anything you could imagine.

The memories hurt more than the experience because memories are like scars;

They don't hurt as much

but you can still see them as a reminder.

What did I do to deserve that I'll forever wonder.

Yet, that is why it is but a memory.

A painful reminder on a metaphorical sticky note

Telling you exactly what you'll never know.

No one will ever know pain.

Mine anyway.

As we age,

Pieces of our gentle hearts

Chip away.

With one memory,

An entire block of my heart was broken.

Pain filled its place.

There was nothing I could do.

Humans are all here for the same reason,

Whatever that is.

And yet,

They put each other through such heartache.

It was as though there was a needle piercing my heart.

Except,

The needle didn't get rid of or prevent future pain.

It merely let all of the pain I had harbored

Deep within my heart for no one to ever see.

But somewhere else,

I wanted someone to know.

I wanted to tell him that no, I wasn't crazy.

I was in pain. 

Unspeakable horror.

I was paralyzed from my mind,deep into my bones.

My mind couldn't understand it.

My heart didn't want to believe it.

Trust is a thing I will never give.

And sometimes,

I still question how it all went down.

How she did it.

Like the best magic trick there ever was.

But this was real.

I still sometimes invision how he would react, had he known.

But he never will.

Little did I know,

That that one memory

Would taint my soul from a bright searing scarlet red,

To a dull burgundy.

I don't mind it now though.

She still doesn't know that pain. 

And she never will.

Sometimes,

When I focus on it,

My body recreates the moment when I figured it out.

When I looked through all of the lies, and saw what the truth was.

My heart fluttered and skipped so many beats that I thought I was having heart attack.

And for all I know, I might have. 

I ran to one place,

I don't know why,

And cried until I had reached dehydration.

Since then,

I don't trust people.

I don't get too close to people.

I already know that I'll end up alone in the end 

So what's the point? 

My heart still has a little piece of it that isn't altered.

That little, tiny piece,

That probably still wants to try trust and care.

I don't.

Memories,

Like scars,

Are also like bones.

When they break,

They still throb when it rains.

And right now,

I feel like I'm standing in the middle of the darkest rainstorm.

Human dignity + compassion = Peace.