Scatter heart.

What if I had the power

to see everyone's hearts?

And see them for what they really were.

Sometimes,

I think about everything that's happened.

And then I think that my heart must be so damaged.

What if my heart was scattered to all of the places where it broke?

Maybe that's why I still feel pain when I see your face.

Because where you are,

I break.

Where I am, it is a dark storm looming over.

If I were able to see everyone's hearts,

maybe I could see if I was alone or not.

Whenever I walk past the place that we both knew,

I know that my heart will never be whole again.

Because you took a piece of it with you. 

If it was possible to go back in time and try to get it back,

I wonder if it would still be beating with the rest of me in my chest.

Because I know that now,

all there is a lump in my throat begging me to let go and I can't.

I know that when I do, that makes the pain real.

The back burner was meant to burn,

not let anything sit there and rot.

Maybe someone else's heart looks as ugly as I feel that mine does.

Every day I look into my mirror and I see an ordinary girl with (mostly) clear skin,

olive complexion,

cold, dark, brown eyes,

long dark hair.

But then I remember that it doesn't really matter how I dress,

it matters what my heart wears, if it wears anything at all.

But I can't see any of it when I try to see. 

I can have all of the thoughts and emotions that I want,

and though they say that

it's that's on the inside that matters,

what if all I have on the inside is a cold,

shattered heart,

that flew everywhere when I couldn't take it anymore?

I go back to the same place that I always knew would kill me,

and I pick up one piece of what use to be mine,

And it cuts me.

Maybe my heart was supposed to be like this.

With all of the cuts and scattered bits.

Maybe this was what was meant to happen

but it doesn't make it any less painful.

Human Dignity + compassion= Peace.