How easy it is.

I wish that there was a way to change the bylaws of human nature. 

Perhaps it's a common gene that gets shared.

A gene that creates social animals that cannot function without 

the silent presence of the rest. 

Most people are somehow able to easily pass each other with no validation. 

I'm not implying that this is what I need because the only time I shall become invalid 

belongs to my wooden crate with rose petal bedding. 

I suppose it's that I hate the means of an end, and

that I long to take the chances that could have been taken to be close to you.

Amongst the myriad of instances that I was perpetually trapped 

within the two feet that were meant to take me places despite all of my fear. 

I long to surpass the anxiety of seeing you and not being able to make a sound. 

There are plenty of words that I could have said aloud, 

things that you would have heard. 

Things that would have mattered.

Words that could have shown you the person that I was,

for I am not her any longer and I never shall be. 

She seemed great. 

She had so much longing love deducted by the lust towards you.

Perhaps this wasn't what you yearned for, let alone from me, 

but this is the way that it was. 

I long to regress into the past and do all of those things. 

Perhaps all of this would have turned differently if I had. 

There's still a piece of that girl woven into me, as there always will be. 

But the perception that you are a person whose face is now blurred 

by another time has sunk in like ink to parchment. 

I wonder what your thoughts would have been if you had ever

looked into my mind and saw all of the emotions harbored in it for you.

Or the countless hours that I told myself to get over the color of your eyes. 

I wonder if you ever knew how important words were to me, 

or how in depth I read into yours, 

or what they revealed. 

It's probable that I've only taken my mind into account and not viewed all dimensions,

but I always thought that I was held with a nine yard tape measure. 

I'll never know if I got any closer, but I'm not so sure that I wish to be any longer. 

I'll never know all parts of you, 

and that's a dime that I must dispense upon myself. 

The mystery might kill me, but I have not another route. 

Apparent that that may be the worst part of me. 

For I will always give my all, in exchange for someone elses half. 

This is probably the time where I should stop looking for your face,

cease searching for the sense of cohesion of

two souls that were just not meant for each other. 

It's not the best feeling to be the person that will support all,

and is supported by none. 

Maybe it's in my genes, 

maybe it's in the way my disturbed heart beats. 

Human Dignity + Compassion = Peace.