White.

At the end of the day, 

I wish there was a person to resuscitate me. 

I wish there was a way to take stitches to my soul and make it look whole again.

So many wishes appear to be unreasonable, 

and most of the time they are. 

This time, maybe a bit too much.

I simply long for a person to keep me afloat. 

To not let me slip into the beating of ocean waves as they crash into the dry sand. 

Or to become the autumn wind as it plucks the metamorphosing leaves from their branches.

A person that would estinguish me as I burn in my own flames. 

Someone to uncover me beneath the autumn leaves 

before I freeze within the hail that is Winter rain. 

It is not a simplicity to resist the camoflouge of your surroundings. 

There are times where I feel that I'm giving up a part of myself,

to merely suit everything else before all of it sweeps me away. 

I wish that I could teleport to a place of blankness.

A clean slate type of place where there is nothing to absorb. 

Which is even harder, for I am then alone with all of my own toxic thoughts, 

and nothing to assimilate or buffer them. 

I wish that for a day, my mind was a white dry erase board. 

Then, I could look at what my surroundings were and I could meld into the crowd. 

Sometimes, it's nice to not be noticed in a world of judgments and regrets. 

And then of course, it's hard to distinguish your own special soul from the others. 

All of them are gorgeous, yet this is why no one will ever see themselves. 

Compared to any of the other beauties, 

you feel as though they are all marveled at a higher standard than you yourself. 

Caught in a school of fish, we all huddle close to each other

so that no one fades into the dust. 

It's easy to look at one soul at a time, rather than looking at all of them at once. 

Who I am I,

a mere cell in the sea to the rest of it?

Yet simply looking at yourself will turn you selfish.

This is why I never try to look at myself. 

The rest of them are great, 

maybe by osmosis I will be great too.

I will never look to truly know, 

but it is far more worthy to follow faith.

Human Dignity + Compassion = Peace.